A few months ago I posted this in my journal:
Since last year some time I have been running into offers to work in the queer/kinky side of things in the porn industry…on the other side of things from where I am currently. So from distribution to performing.
I have to say, I am giving it serious thought. My main motivation for wanting to do it is that although there has been a noticable increase in quality dyke and queer porn, I still don’t see much representation of me out there…bois of color…bois of size. I am not saying there aren’t any out there. Just saying I don’t see them very often. I know I’d like to see more people like me involved in some of these amazing queer projects I see and hear about these days. So I know if I am interested, there are others out there who are as well.
I know the conversation came up on Fetlife in one of the POC groups I’m in regarding the lack of representation of people of color in kinky porn. I know from the supply side of things, it is absolutely impossible to provide that when you have no one willing to be in front of the camera. So in keeping with the concept of being the change I want to see, I am contemplating the idea of being in front of the camera.
I’ve been thinking about this for quite a while and still have made no real decision on the matter. Probably won’t decide one way or the other for a long while still. So, I want your honest opinions on the matter.
Oh, here are a few things to keep in mind as well:
* I have no children (except Cowboy) and am not planning on having any
* My future political career was shot down long ago in a series of “youthful indiscretions”
* My family does not support me in any way financially
* Most of the people I would consider working with I know, have met or are friends with people I trust and respect
* I understand that taking a step like this is not something I can take back
* I know that if I chose to do something like this that it could make some people reconsider their present interactions with me and others whether they’d want to at all if they don’t already have an established relationship with me
I followed it up a little later with this:
Here are a few more bullet points to add to my previous post:
* I have no desire to join the corporate world. I would love to work with non-profits. I have a B.A. in Public Relations, but the primary reason I went to school was so I could have society’s standard of measure for being a responsible adult. It was also the only degree that dove-tailed with my passion. I totally get that the more mainstream non-profits are not a good fit for me. However, I’m a grassroots kinda boi, so working within an organization where my life choices could even be of benefit to them is my goal. Translation, I have no desire to, nor any intention of hiding anything I do.
* Before becoming so actively involved in the lifestyle, I was a public speaker on gay/lesbian issues, being a survivor of same-sex interpersonal violence, interracial dating in the south. I’ve been (along with my wife) the lead on an AP news wire story on gay marriage…you get the idea. I share my life because I want people to not have the excuse of saying stupid shit like “I don’t know anybody who’s gay” or “all those people into BDSM are just crazy” or “young leather folk don’t value tradition” or “old guard dinosaurs need to get with the times”. I want people to realize that people like me, like us are just like them. Hard working, intelligent and just trying to live our lives and savor what joy we find in it.
* My ideal career choice would be public speaking. Sharing my life with people all over the country, perhaps the world even. If I could split that between being a model/performer, I wouldn’t burn out on either of them. After the past two years, I know when to take a break.
Well, I have been invited to shoot for Crash Pad! And not in that “yes we’d like you to be a model on our site” sort of way either. More along the lines of I have address, directions, phone numbers and scheduled time in my inbox sort of way. If all goes according to plan, then I will be shooting with the ever fabulous Leo this weekend.
Woot and holy crap, I’m really gonna do this!!
