Butch Voices was two weeks ago and I am just getting around to writing about my experience there. I haven’t read anyone’s posts on Butch Voices yet either. I guess I wanted to wait until I had time to really sit and pull the pieces all together and for me that can take a minute. So I have finally whittled away at my other distractions enough that I can sit still for a few minutes. I realize for me, just actually going through with presenting there was me actually pushing my own edges a bit. A push I am very happy I decided to make.
Presenting at Butch Voices was a step outside the norm for me as of late. After spending almost three years now traveling and presenting workshops in the kink/leather community, I was actually hesitant to submit a class to present there. I mean, I have become so spoiled presenting in a community that accepted my gender identity, allowed me to be the boi that I am with no fuss or dust up. What if my leather identity proved problematic for the dykes/butches/studs who weren’t leather at all at this event? I also hesitated with my topic, I had looked at the teasers for the workshops already on deck, presenters, and keynote speakers and there were some amazing people lined up with some equally amazing and profound topics at the ready.
I went back to thinking about my original motivation for wanting to present at this event, which was to contribute what I could to the success of a first time event like this. In my part of the country, excluding the city of Atlanta, butch visibility is incredibly low. I wanted to help fill out the spectrum of visible butches for those who may have thought they wouldn’t see themselves reflected in the presenters or the various workshop topics.
So I went ahead and submitted my flirting workshop, adopting the attitude of “everything will be as it should”. Still, I was surprised to find out they had accepted my workshop, but very excited. I started to flesh out the workshop and lined up my own demo bottom (Leo) for my class. After all, what good is a class on flirting without a demo or two? I also went through the schedule to see what workshops I wanted to attend. I like planning that out ahead of time, so I was very happy to find a full schedule online. Unfortunately, I forgot to check for changes to the schedule and missed most of the Saturday classes I planned to attend.
Arriving at Butch Voices Friday was really cool. I felt completely at home and literally giddy. Leo and I were being bois from the time we got out the car so my mindset was light-hearted and fun, exactly what I wanted for my weekend and definitely for my workshop. Heading up the escalator we cruised the hot bois together (and I cruised a femme or two). While waiting to register, a hot shorter butch (wearing an ascot!) came up and asked me for a mint from my registration bag that wasn’t in there, but I had gum in my backpack. I gave her the gum, she handed me a business card and pimped off. I was caught off guard by her confidence and the entire exchange, so I didn’t look at the card until a few seconds later. She knew who I was from Twitter and now I had a face to go with her Twitter name. I definitely liked her style.
I took some time to wonder about and mingle of course. I ran into a recently shorn bear that let me rub his fuzzy head, flirted ever so briefly with a fabulous femme from Vancouver I meet this spring at IMsL, backed a cute boi with glasses against a wall in no time flat, I finally got to put a face with name of someone I had been corresponding with for a little while, met another cute boi who could only giggle and turn lobster red when I said hello. Obviously, I was feeling at home. We wondered around and visited a few more folks before we headed over to the informative ‘Exploration of Dick’ class, where Jr. made an appearance upon request. Ii was a request from the presenter, it would have been rude not to right? Next thing I know it was time to head back across the bridge to get ready for the Butch-Boi.com sponsored play party at The Looking Glass.
I really appreciated the variety and number of after hours events available to conference attendees. Everything from performance art to musical acts to drag kings to butch burlesque to a BDSM/leather play party was there for the choosing. The Butch-Boi.com sponsored play party was the off site event I was most interested in. Although my plans didn’t quite work out the way I had planned, I had a wonderful time. I wrestled with a boi who had more will than technique, bless his heart…gave my jockstrap I’d been wearing for two days to a fellow bootblack for a fundraiser…had incredibly public sex with a hot, blue-eyed boi I had been drooling over since March…all in all not a bad night.
After such a fun filled evening, Saturday morning flew by and before I knew it, it was time to hop in the car and head across the bridge to my classroom and present my workshop. I had enough time to wander around for a few minutes before I needed to head off to my room to prep for my class. I went in and pulled out my laptop and notes for a quick once over before I got started. On the way in I ran into Morgan, Kai and Sparky who all volunteered to be demo bottoms for my workshop. At least that’s the way I remember it!
The workshop time arrived and a few people had drifted in, but being immediately after lunch I knew to give things a few minutes. A little light conversation with people in the room already and a few minutes later a nearly packed house. I got started and things followed along smoothly. People had questions, I gave demos, there was discussion, jokes and lots of smiles. I look up and I was being signaled that I had five more minutes. I quickly scanned the remaining material I hadn’t covered; pulled out some bullet points I felt were important and wrapped up the class.
My fears were unfounded and for that I am very grateful. I walked into this space and felt completely at home. I identify as butch and that was all that mattered for most in this particular instance. It was wonderful to see, hear and engage all types of butches (and femmes) over the course of the weekend. I was especially happy to see so many older butches attending this event. Seeing a future I identify with represented was an affirmation I didn’t know I wanted, let alone needed.
I am eagerly looking forward to this event next year.
